Being Pregnant - part 1

Around the beginning of my 8th month of pregnancy, a friend asked me what it felt like to be pregnant. It was interesting to go back and read the letter I wrote. In some ways it seems like being pregnant was ancient history even though it's only been a matter of weeks and yet it in the midst of it pregnancy seemed to drag on FOREVER. Here's the first half of my response:

Being pregnant…hmm…

First of all, from everyone that I’ve talked to being pregnant is a completely different experience for each person. There are of course common symptoms and whatnot, but how those affect the individual (and each pregnancy itself) can vary widely. More so, I think how each person deals with pregnancy emotionally is very different….some love it, some hate it, some are ambivalent. I think I fall more in the latter category.

Physically, my pregnancy has been very easy (so far, knock on wood!) I had virtually no nausea, no throwing up (that usually comes in the first trimester). I was pretty tired at the beginning – not uncommon, but you usually get your energy back in the 2nd trimester. I’ve had friends that were exhausted the whole time though… My back has been bothering me on and off throughout (it’s actually where my hip comes into my spine – thank you hormones that make your ligaments relax). I’ve felt winded a lot – hormones again. Other than that, it’s been easy. There’s a significant laundry list of “symptoms” (I hate that word….it makes pregnancy sound like a disease) that I’ve pretty much steered clear of. (If you really want to know, I can rattle some off for you.)

Emotionally, I’ve had my ups and downs. Again, thank you hormones. I think one thing specifically that was difficult for me was dealing with the fact that my body was changing and there was nothing I could do about it. It was frustrating to not be able to button up my pants. Prior to being pregnant, I’d worn the same pant size since high school….changing body and self-image was not something I’d every dealt with. It’s also frustrating sometime to not be able to do the things I’ve always been able to do – some things that I “shouldn’t” (like painting the baby’s room) and some things I can’t (like go go go all day…I get tired, winded, backaches...). It’s not mind over matter…you lose a bit of control over your body and your life.

One of the weirdest things for me is feeling baby move. It’s kind of cool, kind of bizarre. Sometimes it feels like my body is going off its rocker. Sometimes it reminds me that there is actually a human being inside of me. For me, that is an incredible, strange, terrifying thought.