Being Pregnant - part 2

Here's the second half of the letter to my friend responding to the question of what it feels like to be pregnant:

It’s been so easy to get caught up around the idea of being pregnant, that I am occasionally blindsided by the reality that pregnancy doesn’t just end...it results in a baby – a human being for which I am wholly responsible. An “oh crap, what the hell am I supposed to do with a BABY???” thought strikes me periodically. I’ve thought and Noel and I have talked a lot about our priorities and ideas around child-rearing, but I think that’s the one thing you can never truly be ready for. Lots of things sound great in the theoretical, but reality has an odd way of dictating otherwise in the moment. That is a terrifying and overwhelming thought sometimes, but I guess I take solace in the fact that there are nearly 7 billion people on the planet and I surely can’t be the worst parent among them, right? I guess we’ll do what we can and hope for the best.

Although I can get wrapped up in being pregnant, it can also be easy (especially as time has gone on) to kind of forget about it…not that you ever entirely do so, but it’s kind of become the norm. 9 months is a lot of time. I’ve kind of gotten used to it all and don’t really think about it too much these days. (I’m sure that will change as d-day looms closer.) Right now, I’m more in “everything must be ready NOW” phase (like painting the room, building the crib, having supplies, etc.) more than being concerned about “being pregnant”...that’s old hat now. :-)

As for labor & delivery, it isn’t something that has actually bothered me at all. My thoughts on that is that it will be a relatively short period of my life (no more than a few days at worst) and it’s gonna be what it’s gonna be. As long as the kid comes out healthy (and eventually), then whatever. Scientific studies have shown that women really do have “amnesia” about how bad labor and delivery are. It’s the world’s way of allowing women to be convinced to go through it again. The idea of an epidural creeps me out – not a fan of lack of control of my body. But, that’s something that every woman needs to decide what she can and is willing to tolerate. There is a possibility that I’ll need a scheduled c-section due to the placenta being too close to my cervix. At first I was very disappointed at the idea of that as I wanted to experience labor (I can’t really explain why...it’s a little wanting to feel connected to the whole experience and the child, a little bit about seeing what my body is capable of and then just an intangible feeling). But, again, I’ve come to realize that at the end of the day it doesn’t matter how you get there – all that matters is that you get there. See 2 paragraphs up – ultimately it’s all about the fact that there is another person in your life and in the world at the end of the day (or days as the case may be :-) ).

Pregnancy is a long, strange journey (at least for me). Parenthood is a longer, stranger journey (from what I’ve been told and from what I can imagine). You’ll get a lot of advice – good, bad and otherwise – about both if you choose to pursue it. But, I think the best advice was given to me by a friend of mine – listen to people, take what they say with a grain of salt and do what’s right for you...which isn’t necessarily the same as anyone else. Here’s my advice (which you should take with a grain of salt): you will never be “ready” to have a child & there is never a good time to have a child – you just have to be ready enough and dive head long into it; if decide to move forward then get in good physically shape – it makes pregnancy (and recovery from what I’ve been told) much easier generally speaking; once you get pregnant, listen to your body – even if you don’t agree with it, it’s probably right; be prepared for parenthood to throw you for a loop constantly – kids don’t fit into the perfect world scenario very often (I’ve experienced this plenty working with kids); finally, only do this (have a kid) if this is the right thing to do for you – not for anyone else.

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I still feel pretty much the same "oh crap" kind of way as I felt when writing that first paragraph and generally stand by my advice in the last paragraph...for the time being. Ask me again after I've been doing this longer.