Breastfeeding is Hard!

First of all I’m a huge proponent of breastfeeding. It’s not hard to find information online about why exclusively breastfeeding for at least 6 months and continuing to breastfeed for at least 1 year is beneficial to both mother and child (check out here for information on the benefits and additional resources on breastfeeding). That being said, one thing that you don’t readily hear from all of the “official” sources is that breastfeeding is hard! You think that women have been doing this since the dawn of time and they didn’t have any books or videos or websites or lactation consultants…how hard could it be? It’s supposed to be what God created us women folk to do, right? You also hear that if it shouldn’t hurt unless you’re doing something wrong. Wrong.

Having had a c-section, one benefit (there aren’t many, trust me) is that I spent 3 full days in the hospital. That provided plenty of time for plenty of nurses and a lactation consultant to observe breastfeeding. I kept asking, “Is it supposed to hurt this much? What am I doing wrong?” They kept saying, “The latch must be bad. You need to fix it. Let me take a look.” They’d look and inevitably say, “Hmm…the latch looks fine. Keep doing what you’re doing.” Fine my ass….tell that to my poor nipples.

Then there’s the matter of supply. Am I making enough? Is he going to starve to death? How do I know? F was 8lbs, 6oz at birth and 7lbs, 10oz at discharge. That was 1oz above the magical 10% drop from the birth weight. If the baby goes below that, then they get worried. I had a nurse tell me that I must not be breastfeeding right. Hello, slap in the face. As if I’m not insecure enough about this whole being responsible for another human being thing already. (Note: of all the nurses I encountered, the vast majority were wonderful, amazing people that got me through some tough moments…this one was just a tad insensitive to a raging hormonal new mom.) My doctor wasn’t concerned in the slightest and at F’s appointment 5 days after birth, he was 8lbs, 4oz and at his 2 week appointment he was 9lbs, 12oz. Let’s just say my kid is a tank and is gaining weight just fine, thank you very much.

In terms of the nipple pain, making sure the latch is good IS really important. No need to add insult to injury. (A detailed article can be found here giving a good explanation about breastfeeding positions and getting a good latch). Beyond that, I have one word: Lansinoh – medical grade lanolin. Use it early, use it often. I wish I’d have started using it at hour one instead of day 2 ½. I used it religiously for the first several weeks and the pain and scabbing subsided eventually. It gets better, I promise. (Note: pain other than nipple pain could be a sign of another problem. Common concerns can be found here.)

As for supply, that’s one of the most common concerns among new breastfeeding moms. Basically, if your baby is going through enough diapers and is gaining weight appropriately then you’re pretty much good to go (more detailed list of signs of successful breastfeeding can be found here). I’m trying to resist the urge to have him weighed daily, so I haven’t bought a baby scale or anything. As if I need to aid my neurotic obsession. His clothes are getting progressively tighter and I don’t think it’s from shrinking in the wash, so I’ll take that as a good sign for the time being until his next appointment.

I only want the best for my kiddo and I want him to be happy and healthy. It’s easy to get overwhelmed in the sea of information overload that is the digital age. The prenatal class I took was critical for me so I had at least some semblance of a clue at to what was going on with breastfeeding before the birth. It didn’t really mean too much at the time, but there were definitely light bulb moments of “oh, THAT’S what they meant!” once he arrived. A good book from a reputable source can be really helpful too, although there are so many different parenting philosophies that can be contradictory and confusing. I read a range of stuff, tried not to get too pissed off at some of the wack jobs out there and am trying to forge my own path based on information and instinct. Ask 50 women about their philosophy on breastfeeding and you’ll likely get 50 different answers. Just go with the flow. Literally.